Skip to main content

Letting Go

Today as i was going through Hacker News, i came by a very, very interesting article.Friends Without Benefits . Somehow, i was touched by this article. 
Its written by a woman about her relationship with a man she loved since she was 22, and how, finally, she could let go of it.

All of us have relationships that we need to 'let go' of. Let me talk about mine.

I had a friend. My best friend. I loved him like my brother. I cared about him. It hurt me when he was hurt, physically or otherwise. He was a little peculiar, but, then again, so was I.

Things went great till the end of that common phase of our life. After that, we went our separate ways. We lost touch for a brief interval. We did get back in touch again. But I was always the one reaching out. Maybe i just realised it now? Maybe it just started now? Maybe it was always that way?

But maybe I was seeing something that was not there? I decided to keep an account of my interactions with him. Just so that I was not being unfair.

After 5 years, I realise that I was right. I was almost always a call away, my home is just 3 bus stops or 4Kms away, but all i have from his end is 3 phone calls ( wishing b'day not counted ), and 1 invite for meeting up. On my end, 60+ calls, and 14 invites to meeting up. I realise you are busy, but can't you spare even a minute for a call about once a month? I realise another thing too. Most of the talking is on my end. He adds mono syllables to the conversation.

I decide i am through. I let go. its late, but i finally let go. 

But most of me is hurting. Its difficult to let go of someone you love so much. I fell free too, but sometimes, it's more enjoyable to be weighed down then to be free.

Time heals all, I guess. I need to give this arsehole another chance.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Year 2016 in review and goals for 2017

Hello people,
It's my 34th birthday today and I wanted to put the past year in review and where I wanted my life to go in the next year.

Achievements of this year: Machine learning course by Andrew Ng ( completed )Calculus I by Robert Ghrist ( completed )Calculus II by Robert Ghrist ( completed )Probability and Statistics ( 2 weeks left )Data science - pandas ( 1 week done ) My first linear regression program Built a neural network from scratch My first Regex. From scratch. No references. With tests.Algorithms I by Robert Sedgwick ( only audit )Algorithms II by Robert Sedgwick ( only audit )
Also did the BE subjects for CS, all the stuff I had learned over the years.
I am super happy to know that MOOCS help a lot in career advancement.
Self-help books that really helped: How to win friends and influence people - Dale CarnegieA mind for Numbers - Barbara Oakley
Altogether, a pretty good year, where learning is concerned. Things/Tips that helped me while learning: Very accommodating p…

Markov chain in JavaScript

I made a small Markov Chain joke generator during my coffee break sometime last week. This is in continuation to the last post, where we did a similar thing. I did this specifically to see how well it could be extended in a language which I have typically not used before for ML/NLP.

Let me run you guys through it.
First of all, the Markhov Chains need a bunch of data to tell it how exactly you want your sentences constructed.


str_arr=[sentence1, sentence2,...]

Next, we create a dictionary of all trigrams present across the sentences. To do this, we use all bigrams as keys, and the succeeding word as the corresponding values. The key-value pairs thus form a trigram. As an example, consider the sentence : “The man had a dog.” The dictionary for this sentence will have :
[ {[The, man] : [had]}, {[man, had] : [a]}, {[had, a] : [dog]} ]
Next up, using the dictionary that we just made to create sentences. Here we provide the first two words, and let the function work its magic to complete the sen…

Yo mama so geeky : generating jokes using Markov Chains

A few days back, I saw this article “How to fake a sophisticated knowledge of Wine with Markov Chains” on the programming subreddit. To my utter delight, the article referenced the code, along with a very detailed explanation, so I spent an hour getting it all to work. The hour taken was no fault of the original authors, it was taken because I wanted to get a good hang of XPath, which will be the topic of a later post. The program auto-generates wine reviews, by using Markov Chains to come up with a sequence of most probable trigrams. It was great fun spouting my expert-level sommelier reviews, especially considering that I can count on one hand the number of times I have actually tasted wine! The reviews were just the right amount of ambiguous with a hint of snobbishness (which, according to me, just made the whole thing perfectly more believable). While I was showing off my new-found expertise in wines, my partner in crime, Rupsa, told me it could probably be used for other similar…