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Scared of looking in the mirror.

I just got back from lunch with a friend.

she had got a post remove from a board. she stood up for someone.

I, deep down, mocked her for it.

what's wrong with me? why can i not applaud someone who is obviously better than me.

when did i become thus, to mock greatness?

she is my friend. i should applaud her, and i mock. Is this what i have become?
worse than a common person, spineless, spiteful? definitely not what i want to be.

I hated such people, and i have become, at last, one myself.
I have begun hating greatness. I hate myself for being this way.
I would not have stood up for anyone in this scenario, but loath someone who has.

whatever happened to having an open mind?
what happened to looking at things from other's perspective?

I have taken a long time to learn that lesson, that people are right about whatever they do, from their perspective. What happened to that, understanding people's perspectives without being told explicitly?

I'm in sorrow. I feel like a shell from which all things valuable have been removed......

It's been a long time since i looked into the mirror into my own eyes. i am scared that i will find, not a warrior, but a being deformed, angry and spiteful. or worse.

I need to get back on track. To change back into what i was - A damn fine human being.


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