2 days back i got my GATE result. I had not even qualified! This hurt like hell. I didn't even get my marks, which is disgusting.but this blog post is not about my failure. Failure it is, it is results which matter, which have not materialized.
However while thinking about it,and contemplating on it, suddenly my thoughts had immense clarity. This kind of clarity has come recently only about 2 or 3 times, and each time the insight it has left me has decided my course through the foggy road called life. So this time i decided to put it on my blog.
My preparing and facing the GATE exam was my 'easy' way to satisfy 2 goals, 1. End up as a researcher, so i would not get bored with life. And 2. find a (comparatively) easy way to make some good money without worrying about job security and dreary stuff like that.
Hm..mm...yes. And money. That which is responsible for most of the problems in this world. it has a certain value in my life. What is that value? This i need to put into words, so that it can be clear to me.( yes, me, dear reader. I am being selfish here).
Money has not always been important in my life. I knew about money a long time back, in school. But my sheltered, hectic life never really put me in contact with money. I took a long time to understand the value of money and its importance in the life of other people. I found it fascinating, that there were many people who had good money, and all had different ways of treating it. Some cared for it like it was a lady, some treated it like a whore, and the rest treated it like a favorite child.
However, i noticed that among all these people, there was a common trend of saving money for tomorrow. This habit of saving money appeared in a lot of ways, all particular to the character of that person. Some hoarded money away in jars, boxes, some bought gold for their wives which also achieved the objective of making her happy. Some bought immovable property like land. And yet a few others, considered their money safe in the form of art and craft. Yet others, were skilled in dealing with alternate financial instruments like shares, bonds and funds. To notice this was amazing, but i was more interested in knowing why they did this, and one day, after a lot of time wasted after meandering through the dark gulley's and bright paths of my mind, i realized what it was, however it has been just days since i got the words to verbalize my thoughts.
Money, in contact with man, has a rather fickle nature. It owes loyalty to no one, and can shift from one master to another in a blink of an eye. By itself, money is pure and incorruptible. People accumulate money to eventually free themselves from the fickleness in its nature.
Maybe i should explain this more. You see, money is tightly tied up with society's values. People need it to bring into reality all their dreams and fantasies, which revolve around the social image or one-upmanship, which eventually leads nowhere. However, the perceived instability of money is a matter worth worrying about for people. There is only one way out of this – take money out of the equation. People usually do this in 2 ways – 1) renounce money completely. This has somewhat of an escapist nature and also needs “balls” since withdrawing from society is its nature . 2) make so much money that the loss of some does not affect. Most people do this. By itself this is not a bad thing, but it is a rather addictive habit. After some time, the person doing this forgets the motive for his action, and continues to collect money, loosing peace of mind, sanity and humanity. A supposed virtue becomes a vice.
Yet this has to be the right way, since society was not made to be shunned. Renouncing society sounds nice, but it also means giving up civilization. hardly prudent. Also, in this age, where are you going to find place to keep your peace and quiet? So, though obviously the second option is correct in principle, the specifics worry me. getting caught up in any sort of cycle does not please me, so i guess it's best to figure out what the flaw is.
Let us go back a couple of paragraphs and review the unconfirmed basis of our argument. It seems to be sound, but looks like we have to refine it further. So people seem to collect money to overcome it's fickleness. OK. Is it all? No, doesn't look like it. The previously quoted answer is a part of the complete solution. The remaining part of the answer seems to be thus - “People, when they spend money, are adding time and then value to their lives”. How? Just think, when you go out to buy shoes, you are buying an article which spares you the effort of killing an animal, tanning it, cutting it to shape, then stitching it all up, then adding some thick part at the bottom for the sole. Then adding all the baubles to increase the attractiveness index. So this has saved you time, the value part comes when you consider the cobbler's experience and expertise, which add quality and finish to the completed product. Similarly, just look around, you will find that all the things add time and value to your life. This is the reason for the existence of money. As soon as we forget this, we fall in the trap of collecting money, of greed, and from there, it is a short trip to becoming an animal. Maybe not by looks, but definitely by nature.
Lets put things into perspective like this – whichever way i take, the final aim is to take money out of the equation governing our lives. I once read the novel 'Hannibal'. In it Hannibal says that sometimes things are just right when its 'just right' , and then again when it's blown out of all proportion. In the current case, when i talk about taking money out of our lives, i can 'have no truck with it' or have so much money, that i can afford to disregard money completely. The first i personally find rather nice, but considering what i have to give up, i don't want to go that way.The second notion, i find that worth going after.
Now, since i have clarified thing with myself, hopefully i will find the way ahead much clearer.
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